Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I've Been Thinking...

My husband hates it when I say that cuz it is usually followed by something like:

  • "We should get some goats."
  • "Wouldn't it look great if we opened up that wall and put a fireplace over there?"
  • "The local vet clinic has some St. Bernard puppies that were abandoned, we should adopt one."
  • "It would be really nice to have a pool - all the girls friends could hang out at our house."
  • "Look at the cute birdie..."
  • "If we just take out that hall closet and make it part of our bedroom, we could have an awesome master bathroom and bedroom."
  • "The girls want a baby brother...we could always adopt."
  • "There is this really cool house a few miles away that is a bank repo. It has five acres, just think how many goats we could have then!"

I jest not, everyone of the sentences has come out of my mouth...but anyway, that is not what I was thinking about today.

I have been contemplating why I (in particular, women in general) torture myself so much to be the perfect weight. Isn't the whole point to be healthy? I know I am healthy - I can run miles and miles. I can do a pretty decent plank. My weight isn't perfect, this is true...but I look pretty decent.

My husband thinks I look good. My daughter's think I'm beautiful. Why do I want to obsess over this? Why do I want more? I'll never be one of those perky PTC mom's wearing a jog suit that has never been sweated in. It isn't like I don't have a million other things to better occupy my time and mind.

And I know, I KNOW, once I get to my ideal weight...I will want to lose more. I know because when I weighed this before, I thought I was fat. I know this because I am a woman and as that I can't seem to be happy with me the way I am....curvaliscious.

It really isn't that I think my husband will be more attracted to me or love me more if I lose weight...and I certainly don't want to lose weight to attract other men (no way in hell, one is enough for me thank you).

I can say that, I feel most self-conscious about my "flaws" around other women, most judged by them. Why? I don't know...maybe I am just paranoid, because they could probably care less if I have a muffin top, double chin, etc.

Anyway, that is what I have been thinking...but I'm still doing my challenges to be more fit, my obsession will not stop. Now, off to do my run for today.

15 Talk to me people!:

eurydice said...

i understand you completely. nothing is ever good enough because as women, we are constantly striving for unobtainable perfection. really, we should just try to live in and enjoy the moment instead of thinking about how happier we will be when...

Randi said...

I hear ya on the especially around other women. If I'm around skinny friends, I'll feel fat, if I'm around fatter friends, I'll feel better. So I definately am checking out the other women around me to see where I rank. It's completely dumb but I do it anyways. The sad thing is, there will always be somebody who is skinnier and prettier who will make me feel self conscious and not good enough. (not that I don't have any self confidence and like who I am, but there are always those feelings)

Marcy said...

I know what you mean and I completely agree with Randi. It's a no win situation (there will ALWAYS be someone skinnier and prettier). It's seems like I've been getting worse as I get older too?!? Probably because I'm starting to see gravity take it's toll HAHA

Sparky said...

Great post! :)

SeaBreeze said...

I can understand this. Sometimes you start off because you want to be healthier in general, but eventually the scale feels like a judgement call. Sooo hard to keep it all in prospective.

JIMSIGHT said...

Hi Shelly, me "pool boy"

this is so not just a fem thing, I have gone one step beyond weight, became a little obsessed with my body fat. Overall it has worked out much better than getting on the scale daily...I do it once a week with my trainer...usually never changes much..its knowing and getting where you want ot go..Love your posts...thanks for the do over cheer..its on.

Charmaine said...

You wanted GOATS?

That's it. I'm linking to your blog.

Nikemom said...

you have to want to look good and feel good for you and you only! don't do it because of some skinny ass chick who doesn't sweat in a sports bra. she's not healthy. i guarantee she's wishing she was you, athletic and healthy. every chicky-mama has flaws, some we just don't see.

choose to be happy with "you" and the rest will all fall into place.

rock on! :)

MizFit said...

this whole thing is SUCH A MIND GAME huh?

you know what I think.

so I shant hijack your comments.

came by to check on you and to say how your second comment yesterday made me SMILE and think "yep. SO BEEN THERE!"


Fatinah said...

I totally could have written this post (minus the goats!!). It really is a comfort to know that we are not alone....

Spicy Latina said...

Goats, really???? Your normal, I think most of us obsess about our weight. I have no clue why, but all I can say is it SUCKS! Girl you look good! Don't stress about a little muffin top. :-)

ThickChick said...

Haha, I want goats too!!!(esp.pygmy!) And llamas. They're so cute!! But I am a total city-girl, where would we put these animals?

Anyway, yes... women are womens worst and most harsh critics.
Though I can't take Sarah Palin for a variety of policy reasons, I find myself harping on her voice, her bouffant, etc. Why am I criticizing her looks when what I really hate is her policies?

But yes, I hear you loud and clear. Wouldn't it be the greatest to just love and accept your body flaws and all? We're all working on it. Let me know if you find the magic cure!

Lesley said...

I find I have to keep the pressure on so as not to put MORE weight on! But that is a product of my very overweight past. You enjoy your healthiness and keep it up!

If you and your family are happy I wouldn't give a fig for what skinny (probably chain smoking or pill popping and starving) other women think!

Have fun Goat Girl!

Lesley x

P.O.M. said...

It is a very rare time when one looks in the mirror and says, "Damn I look good." It's happened once in the last year, but it was so worth it.

Shanti said...

Hi--I stumbled across your blog while searching for mine on Google. =) My name's Shanti, and my husband and I (and our 4 kiddos) live in Loomis, too. I started running a couple months ago, and am doing the MandaRun 10k on the 18th. How long have you been running? I am always encouraged by others who are further down the line from me...I just broke 6 miles a couple weeks ago, and it was huge for me! I would like to get to the 10-mile mark at some point...anyway, I wanted to just send you a message, but didn't see where to do that, so I'm just adding a comment here...
By the way, I'm so sorry to hear about your boss. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you.
Pop me an e-mail sometime--I'd love to pick your brain about running!
Shanti Landon