Hello! Welcome, I'm so glad you could stop by for a virtual visit to finish off your holiday rounds! By the way, I first want to start out by thanking you for calling first, I always appreciate having a little bit of time to prepare for my guests (i.e. clean frantically for four hours).
So as you come in you will probably try and say "hi" to my girls. Immediately Charlotte will plant hear face in my butt crack to hide (she is shy, and thankfully for her my butt provides ample hiding space). Delaney is probably standing next to me glaring at you while she sizes you up. Elli on the other hand is probably still in her bed sleeping, or just emerging from her 1/2 hour shower - she's a teenager, nuff said. Chuck is probably in the kitchen cooking something for your visit...actually he is probably cooking lots of things and will immediately offer you a drink and more food than you can eat.
By this time I have probably dislodged Char from my rear and you will notice her eclectic outfit choice for the day. If you came by today, she would have this on...her superhero whale panties and her Dora swimsuit top.
Oh yeah, you haven't seen my house yet! Well last year we finally finished the last of our big projects here...you should have seen this house when we bought it! Anyways, we remodeled our master bedroom and bathroom last year and I'm so happy with it. Look at my shower and bath!
Oh wait, Delaney wants me to take her picture and get it in here too...she can't be outdone by her sister. In fact she may even play the piano for you later...naked so she won't get her dress dirty.
Well so much for the tour, lets sit down and enjoy some food. Elli will chat your ear off probably telling stories about her dad, or the new contacts she just got for her 16th birthday, or her latest crush. Would you like a glass of wine? We're having turkey by the way, again. Hope you don't mind, but we need to justify the four turkey fryer's we own. Yes, you heard that right, we own four turkey fryer's and they have all been bought in the past five years (this is where Chuck puts his head down in shame while I tell the Turkey Fryer story).
WE (Chuck) bought the first fryer... and really fried turkey is very good. But every year Chuck finds some reason to buy a new one a) the pot was too round and took too much oil to fill, b) the pot wasn't big enough for the turkey c) some other reason. Well this year he got an oil-less fryer "for safety." I guess I can't argue with the safety thing - but when he showed me the fryer after hiding it for two weeks I cried...and laughed at the same time.
Would you like some more wine? Feeling a little tipsy? It's about time for Chuck to make a comment that will annoy me so I don't want to talk to him for the rest of the night. Like "Having 3 kids didn't make HIS body go to hell." Pardon me while I glare at him with death lasers.
What? Your going so soon. Feeling a little uncomfortable with the tension? Its okay. Thanks for coming by and I hope you visit again soon!