One Hot Mess

I haven't been here in forever, other than I have been keeping up on reading my favs, just not commenting. My life has been a whirlwind the past few months and I just have nothing left in me at the end of the day to write about it. Long story short I am now working full-time (well more like full-time plus) in addition to maintaining the side business my husband and I have...and yes and raising 3 kids. It really sucks but I feel guilty about complaining because I KNOW how hard it is to even find a job for so many people right now. I should be thankful right?

The worst part is all of the weight (17 pounds) I had lost last January/February/March has come back with an 10 additional pound vengeance. Yes 27 pounds in about 3 months...really sucks. That really bums me out, but I guess it is to be expected when you sit at a high-stress job the amount of time I do then come home and have a couple glasses of wine to unwind.

So anyways, today I went to a new doctor because my old doctor sucked an blamed everything on allergies. I LOVED my new doctor, he was very awesome...and read me so easy. Within the first minute of coming into my room he said "I could tell the minute I walked in and saw you this appointment was going to be about stress." and my eyes immediately began to water up with tears. OK, but who goes to a regular doctor for stress??? I felt like I was seeing a psychologist. Seriously, he sat there and talked about every aspect of my life that is producing stress and how I can address it - he was in with me for AT LEAST an hour...even though we both knew I didn't need any medicine or any medical treatment...and I really didn't go there to talk about stress, my intention was to just do the opening exam to establish myself as a new patient in his practice. Him spending that much time with me made me feel guilty because I don't have a real problem, I'm just stressed!

Basically he boiled it down to I'm a easy going, outdoorsy kind of girl trying to force myself to live a high stress, corporate type of lifestyle - and I am never going to be happy doing that. Ugh. How did things get so upside down in my life. And how is this all so obvious to me yet I am just so wrapped up in all the day to day crap that I have been oblivious to it and let my life become this unorganized, blazing snowball of stress.

Oh and we talked about the weight thingy too and he wrote this on a prescription pad for me:

1. Don't eat real bad foods.
2. If you're not hungry, don't eat yet
3. When you are hungry, only take half of what your normal serving would be.

Kind of hilarious, huh. I don't do number 1 hardly ever (unless wine counts as a real bad food). He said eating 5 meals a day to feed your metabolism was crap and to only eat when your body really is telling you your hungry (not your head or your hubby). #3 is probably the key for me as I really don't feel like I eat very different than when I was in my 30's and easily kept my weight at a healthy level - but I probably just can't eat as much as I used to since my metabolism has probably slowed down with age - I am almost 42 you know.

Anyway, now I feel like a hot bed of emotions after that Dr. visit.