Thursday, March 26, 2009

Just a Little Bumpy

I feel grumpy - or "Bumpy" which is what Delaney called it when she 2 or 3 and it has just sort of stuck. Bumpy really sort of captures the mood don't you think? I feel like I'm in a constant state of PMS right now - everything and everyone is bugging me.

Sometimes it is all just a little too much - the kids whining or being mouthy, dogs barking, bird screeching, unlimited work commitments, economic distress (things are pretty tight right now for us, as with so many other people out there - not as bad as some, but definately tight). And why oh why do I volunteer to take on a new project every time something comes up? I just can't seem to say no - but I really piss myself off when all I have to do is keep my mouth shut but I pipe up and say "I can do that!" This time of year too, I should really know better - especially for things that really have no benefit to my family right now in these tough times.

You would think all the exercising and running I've been doing would relieve the stress, but honestly I kind of feel guilty and selfish by taking that time for myself, asking my husband or older daughter to watch the little girls, and just not spending that time with my family. I know, I know...taking time for yourself is suppose to make you a better mother...but I don't really know if that crap is holding true for me. Do I feel healthier? Yes, but I also feel a bit absent and I definitely still get grumpy and short tempered with my kids. Not quite a ZenMom yet, more like a ZinMom - as in I think I need a little wine tonight dear, the girls are driving me crazy! Which probably is not a good choice for me or the kids. (Mom if you are reading this, I am not doing this very often - I'm not an alcoholic). Really, I just feel like I'm always falling a little short of what I should be doing - not so perfect am I (this is just annoying in and of itself).

Okay, sorry for the bitchfest. I'm done.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Kidlet Tales

Two posts in two days...blow me down!  I just wanted to talk about my kids a little, so for those of you who are bored with people who talk about their kids all the time...go away.

Delaney woke up today and immediately pinched her sister Charlotte who was still half asleep - you know, cuz her jammies weren't green.  I think Delaney has been looking forward to pinching others ever since I mentioned this consequence of not wearing green on St. Patty's Day last week - I thought she would be concerned about wearing green, but when she kept quizzing me on the proper etiquette of pinching I knew what wheels were turning in her head.  As soon as she eyeballed me this morning I ran to my closet to get my green sweatshirt on quick.

This is the same child who asked me on the Saturday before my race why I do races.  "You don't win Mom."  Trying to explain to her that just finishing is winning, personal goals, blah blah blah, doesn't really convince her - she saw the people who got the "real" medals.  She is a little competitive, always has to be first to the car, first out of the car, will body check her sister, me, or anyone else who is impeding her progress of being FIRST...and the kid race that I entered her in and she ran with a fever (I know, bad mom), she placed first.

My oldest daughter is mad a me...she isn't talking to me.  This is the texting conversation that got me in trouble with her:
     Me:  Guess what?  Your bathing suit fits me!
     Elli:  Why are you wearing my brand new bathing suit I haven't gotten to wear it yet!
     Elli:  That is gross, it's like wearing somebody else's underwear.
     Me:   Hot tub party.
     Elli:  No mom, thats gross
     Elli:  You need to respect my personal space
     Me:  LOL
     Elli:  You didn't even ask
     Me:  Chuck says it looks good, I'm so excited I can't believe I can wear a bikini!
     Elli:  I'm not joking
     Me:  It really shows off the boobs
     Elli:  Mom this is not funny grow up.

I didn't really try it on...I just love how my teenage daughter told me to grow up.  Nope, it is too much fun to tweek you a little my dear!

Last night, Charlotte leaned over and whispered to me,  "I love you mom" - I love those moments.  

Monday, March 16, 2009

Shamrock'N Half Marathon Race Report

Does anyone have a good recipe for egg salad? Cuz I made hard boiled eggs today and Charlotte decided to peel three of them, slice them with an egg slicer, and not eat a single one. Kidlets!

So yesterday was the Shamrock'N Half Marathon that I participated in. I guess I'm getting a little lackadaisical in my racing endeavors because even though the direction said to be there at 6:30 I told my husband, " I don't need to be there until 7:15, the race doesn't start until 8 and I'm already checked in." But in our typical family fashion we didn't leave my house until 7:05 and it is a half hour drive...and we stopped for coffee because I thought I'd have plenty of time to use the restrooms at the baseball field where it started.

But we got stuck in a little bit of a traffic jam on the off I got there with about 10 minutes to spare, hustled to the bathroom only to find a line about 50 - 100 women long. So I decided to run without going to the bathroom first...probably shouldn't have asked for that extra shot in my latte. I did have some stomach cramping, but I managed to make it the whole race without having to stop.

I was in the second wave to start, the 9 - 11 minute mile pace...that was a very popular group. My goal was to come in around 2:15 or better so I tried to keep the 2:10 pace girl in my site (I don't know how those people carry those signs for that long while running). Last year I made the mistake of starting out too fast and totally bonked after about 3 miles. I can do 4 or 5 miles at a 9 minute pace, but not 13. I kept with my pacer pretty good, but I really felt like I was in a herd of cattle, I guess the 10 minute pace is popular.

At about 6.5 miles I saw my bootcamp trainer. This was her first race and she was doing the relay, all the relay runners started in the first wave. I could tell she was struggling (she had a blister under her big toe) so I ran with her for her last .5 miles to help her get to her exchange. She was glad to see me, and I felt good about giving her a boost...but I lost sight of my pacer at this point. It was okay though, I still had my garmin and was able to keep track of my pace pretty good.

The race was really uneventful, the last two miles I could feel my legs starting to tire...but I had my rhythm going and just kept putting one foot after the other. The coolest thing about this race, other than all the cool St. Patrick outfits people wear is that it ends at Raley Baseball Field and when you enter the stadium you run around the outside of the field and have lots of people in the stands cheering for you - my trainer was there cheering for me, my husband and girls...and you sort of feel like a rock star for a moment. Then you have to climb the stairs to get out of the stadium. Aargh! and the 1/2 mile I had to walk to my car after the race was the hardest part...but at least I didn't really feel any pain until then. My only injury other than general stiffness was some bra line chafing.

Oh yeah, my time was 2:15 (I think a 10:20 pace) - so I met my goal. I was actually hoping for a little better, maybe next time I'll actually take my training seriously and do better...maybe. I'd love to get closer to the 2 hour mark. Overall I am happy with how I did and I had fun.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Evidently, I'm Just Not Into Blogging Lately


Everyone has been sick at my house at least once in the past month - most of us multiple times and for weeks on end.

I have been pretty busy with work and taxes...that just happens to me this time of year.

But enough with the excuses. I have been keeping up with the exercise, training plan...even though there has been drama there too. The "owner" of the Bootcamp company, let go my trainer because there just wasn't enough business I guess. My trainer and I had bonded though, so she agreed to finish my training through the end of my contract even though the Bootcamp owner was the one getting paid. My trainer also decided to start her own company, so when it is time for me to rejoin I will sign with the midst of all this my original stats somehow got misplace (I don't know by whom, it doesn't really matter). When I called the original owner to ask her to "audit" her files to see if my stuff got placed in someone else's folder, she said she gave it to my trainer "But she could tell I wasn't happy" and offered me 3 months free. Bonus! but the downside is my stats were never found which kind of I will be doing 2-3 sessions a week with a trainer since I'm not going to pass up on a free session, but I also don't want to leave my trainer - cuz she and I have clicked.

I will be running a half mary in 1 1/2 weeks - the Shamrock'N Half which I ran last year. I ran 10 miles on Tuesday and feel pretty good about my pace, and also felt like I could run more, so I feel ready...I'm pretty sure I can improve my time significantly as long as I don't get hurt or make a pacing mistake.

My husband figured out how to transfer our old movie tapes onto iMovie which has been quite entertaining to watch. My kids are so funny...I may need to upload a few videos here...

It is really striking to see pictures/movies of myself from 5 years ago and realize I looked pretty dang good then, but I remember thinking I was fat. What is that about! Ugh. I wonder if I will appreciate my body more now once I get back to that or if I will still think it isn't good enough.